An Asperger Marriage Review

5 out of 5 stars An Asperger Marriage, January 14, 2003
 
  Reviewer:  from Oregon, USA

WHY is this book good? Because like the first book dedicated to Asperger Marriage, Maxine Aston's "The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome," Gisela and Chris Slater-Walker have broken the barrier of the ring of "silence" surrounding partners' description of their own unique relationships in a "mixed marriage."

For anyone wishing to understand one couple's take on Asperger marriage, this book is a "must read." It is such a book not for the truth it depicts about AS, but for the process of frank communication and openness much needed in our culture of secrets about life-altering differences and the common phenomenon of late-life adult diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome.

WHY is this book important?

(1) It is important for readers to appreciate that mixed marriages exist, and they not only "survive" but thrive largely due to the open exchange of views between the partners. Because of the prevalence of Asperger Syndrome and a fifty-fifty chance that a primary relative is also somewhere on the autistic spectrum whenever a school child or young adult is "discovered," these "discoveries" come from somewhere. In most cases, AS children come from "mixed marriages."

(2) Within such marriages, especially where there are children, there are discrete, distinct voices waiting to be heard, each voice "speaking" from its owner's unique perspective. Disparaging those voices because they aren't harmonious is not respectful nor is it an intelligent kind of criticism.

On the cover of the book, the marriage band is not "broken." Some persons with AS will say, "My non-spectrum spouse is playing 'victim' and trying to change me or 'fix' me when I don't see a need to be changed. I am NOT broken!" In this book, Gisela and Chris offer a different perspective, revealing their frustration and discomfort as publicly to each other as they do to us, their readers. To bottle up such feelings works havoc on a marriage where both partners are trying to understand one another. For both partners to express themselves so openly is neither an act of abuse or disrespect. It is testimony to their courage and the faith they both share in the strength of their marriage.

Gisela is one of the founding members of ASPIRES. ... ASPIRES is dedicated to supporting the open discussion of marital and couples' issues of AS couples for the purpose of greater understanding and enrichment of this special relationship.

Linda Newland, Co-Founder and list serv owner, ASPIRES
Roger N. Meyer, Co-Founder of ASPIRES and author, "Asperger Syndrome Employment Workbook"

GO TOP

 

"We each have our own way of living in the world, together we are like a symphony.
Some are the melody, some are the rhythm, some are the harmony
It all blends together, we are like a symphony, and each part is crucial.
We all contribute to the song of life."
...Sondra Williams

We might not always agree; but TOGETHER we will make a difference.

 

Send mail to opu@bendbroadband.com with questions or comments about this web site.
Copyright 2003-2014 A.S.P.I.R.E.S.

Updated 04/02/2014

 

 

"We each have our own way of living in the world, together we are like a symphony.
Some are the melody, some are the rhythm, some are the harmony
It all blends together, we are like a symphony, and each part is crucial.
We all contribute to the song of life."
...Sondra Williams

We might not always agree; but TOGETHER we will make a difference.

 

Send mail to opu@bendbroadband.com with questions or comments about this web site.
Copyright 2003-2014 A.S.P.I.R.E.S.

Updated 04/02/2014